cory anotado

Whoever the FUCK has been hacking into my profiles and changing shit: It's not fucking funny. It's immature and stupid. Stop it. You're fucking stupid.

Cory: Now it smells a little like penis.
Suzanne: What does penis smell like? Equate that to something.
Cory: PENIS! Penis smells like penis. It smells like male vagina or something.

-- END SCENE --

But if 960-some-odd Filipino prisoners from Cebu can dance Thriller, then I'm not going to complain.



God bless the Philippines.

And I came across this letter.



It is an actual, ten-page letter from what seems to be about the early 1940s, so around World War II.

It is extremely dirty.

Granted, we tend to forget that in the early part of the 20th century, people were allowed to be pervy and nasty and sex-driven; at least, I do. This letter is a fresh reminder that even since the early 20th century, some people were real freaky nasty.

Confessions of a Southern Girl
Circa Early 1940s
Transcribed by Cory Anotado
Note from the transcriber: Best ten bucks I ever spent.

I was married quite young, not quite sixteen, but was good looking and had a good husband, and was mother of two children: a boy and a girl. Everything went fine until I was 28 years old, then my husband died.

After a year or so, men began to pay attention to me again, but there was no one dear to me but my deceased husband.

There was a burglar scare about this time in my neighborhood and I was all worked up about this and afraid to go to sleep at night. Some of the neighbors advised me to get a dog that would be respected by strangers. I saw an advertisement in the paper about a lady going north who would like a home for her Saint Bernard dog. I went over to see him. He sure was a beauty; so large and gentle like a lamb.
( Can you see where this is going? OBVIOUSLY NSFW. )

So there's the story. If I can get to a scanner, I'll scan it in.

Fast Fact™: Cory Anotado can punch through a brick wall with his bare penis.

Fast Fact™: Cory Anotado can beat up a scorpion using only his ejaculate.

Fast Fact™: Cory Anotado can eat a whole cow by himself, but he'd rather just touch himself instead.

Fast Fact™: Cory Anotado can make microwave popcorn just by sitting on the bag.

Fast Fact™: Cory Anotado can out-cute a guinea pig.

Suz: I am SOO tempted to call you "Sexypants McGee"
Cory: And you're not why?
Suz: Good question!
Suz: Sexypants McGee!
Suz: Then I would smack your ass.
Suz: How about them apples?
Cory: I likes it!
Suz: You just like me touching your butt.
Cory: Oh, just a whole lot.
Suz: [insert Homestar here]
Suz: You know, I could use another Homestar clone. Perhaps Homestare.
Suz: The ghetto Homestar.
Suz: Yo, baby, I'm HomeSTARE Runner!
Cory: Homestaaaaare runner!
Suz: ::grabs crotch::
Cory: Oh baby!
Suz: ::pistol whips a cop::

Nanci Pelosi will eat you.